www.qlew.org

Since about age 12, women usually set out on a crusade to find the perfect skin care regimen. We read magazines, we get facials, we consult experts, we ask our mothers and we try every new product on the market. Unfortunately, men are taught early on that caring about their skin is a ‘chick thing,’ but it’s not! Men get old too!

I’m pretty sure that underneath the macho facade, most guys are dying to know exactly what is in those millions of strange bottles they see in their girlfriend’s or sister’s medicine cabinets.

Guys may not like the idea of having a skin “regimen” or prancing around as happy as the Noxzema girl, but I believe they want healthy skin as much as any girl. It’s just that no one has ever told them the best way to go about getting it. This leaves them to draw their own frightening conclusions. So boys, pay attention because you are about to get a crash course in Clear Skin 101.

First of all, get it out of your head that you’re not manly if you use something other than soap on your skin. As long as you don’t go overboard, women find a man who cares about his appearance to be very attractive. It saves us the effort of dropping hints of what you should be doing. Remember, this is personal hygiene and nothing to be ashamed of.

The next, and probably most crucial step is to memorize this rule: there are two types of soap, one kind for your body and one kind for your face. Never use body soap on your face! It’s too strong and it will cause you to break out. So keep the Irish Spring in your shower and your face will probably start improving already.

The three most important products you absolutely need are daily are a: cleanser, astringent and moisturizer. Before you buy these things, you should first determine what kind of skin you have. Lightly run your fingers over your forehead, nose, cheeks and chin. If the skin feels sticky, then it’s oily. If the skin feels tight and itchy, then it’s dry. If it’s sticky on your nose and chin, but itchy on your cheeks, then you have combination skin, which is both oily and dry. Try to make sure your products are in synch with your skin type because if you’re using an astringent for dry skin on your oily skin, it won’t work and you just wasted time and money.

Since skin care products are geared toward women, most guys feel the same embarrassment of handing them to a cashier they feel when sent to buy their girlfriend’s tampons. This is unnecessary because plenty of these products are gender neutral. Go for traditional Noxzema in it’s comforting ocean blue jar, or Neutrogena with it’s strong yellow color. These are products any man can be proud to have rest by his sink.

Now comes the toughest purchase — astringent. A lot of you guys are probably thinking of the Oxy pads you used when you were 14, but unless your face is still gushing the oil of puberty, stay as far away from that product as you possibly can. You wouldn’t stick your face in battery acid, would you? Your face needs to keep some of it’s oil or else it will get dry and start producing even more oil to make up for what you just removed.
Look for an every-day astringent specially made for the type of skin you have.

The final product you need to buy is moisturizer. You’ll need to swallow your pride for this one, but don’t put this off because the moisturizer is essential, especially if you have dry skin. The reason for this is because water dries out the skin. This is a hard fact for most guys to accept, because you believe that since water is wet it obviously must hydrate the skin, but that’s just not true. If you don’t believe me, try licking your lips when they’re chapped. Do they feel better or worse? Moisturizer is like Chapstick for your skin so look for the blandest bottle and don’t worry if it smells feminine because it’s not cologne, the scent will go away.

Now that you’ve finished shopping, it’s time to put these products to the test. Apply the cleanser to your fingertips and gently rub it onto your skin in upward, circular motions. Lean over your sink and splash lukewarm water onto your face at least three times to get all the soap off your skin. Pat your face dry with a clean towel.

Now take your astringent and pour a little bit onto a cotton ball. Wipe this all over your face, especially your nose because this tends to get the most oily. Your skin will feel cool and tingly so brush your teeth or comb your hair while it dries.

Now put a little moisturizer on your fingertips and rub it into your skin the same way you did with the cleanser. Your skin should feel soft and comfortable now, which means it’s clean. Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?

Now that you have mastered basic skin care, you might want to experiment with techniques such as facial masks and maybe even a little makeup. If you would really like to try a few new things without crossing the “wuss” line, here are a few tips of what is normal and what is going overboard.

And by overboard, I don’t mean being perceived as gay. Gay men always look damn good. Just observe the female heads that turn as one walks down the street. I’m talking about the guys who turn looking good into an obsession. The pretty-boys with long, glossy hair who wear bronzer and too much cologne who refer to themselves as “chick magnets.” These men are evil and must be stopped.

Facial masks are a great way to clean out the pores of your skin, and since you only need to leave them on for 15 minutes they’re actually a pretty convenient way to deep clean your face. Just make sure you go for the masks that have strong, primary colors like blue or green or white. The bottle should advertise the use of seaweed, almonds or even mint. Stay away from anything flowery or fruity — no girl wants her man to smell like peaches.

If your face has broken out and you’d like to cover up all the red spots, there is nothing wrong with a guy using a little concealer. Even if your girlfriend catches you, it will make her feel closer to you from knowing that you have insecurities, too. Just don’t start rummaging through her purse to steal her base coat or translucent powder because a guy who worries about a couple of zits is one thing, but a guy who doesn’t want to look “shiny” is just scary.

No matter what kind of strange product you buy for your skin, it’s okay as long as you made your purchase in a respectable drugstore. The girl who rings you up will probably even be checking you out because there are few things sexier than a straight guy who knows the importance of moisturizer.

However, if you find yourself hanging out at the Clinique counter in Lord & Taylor or getting a bi-monthly facial at a ritzy salon, it’s time to start re-examining yourself. I don’t want to create any pretty-boy monsters.